I was 25 years old ...
Attending church every Sunday, participating in college ministries and other things in the church. I lived and breathed in the church. I considered myself a strong, faithful Christian. I had strict views on a lot of things, and wasn't so very open minded at the time.
My Dad sat my sister and me down, and explained my parents were getting a divorce. Okay, I was fine with that and knew things would be more peaceful since all they did was argue and were mean to each other.
Then a few days later, my sister tells me "Did Dad talk to you about coming out of the closet?" My response was like "What? No, he didn't..why didn't he tell me?" That hurt my feelings. Like he couldn't be honest with me to my face.
After I thought about it..I knew why he couldn't tell me. Because of my own opinions and views on homosexuality. I felt bad..and awful. I mean he's my father, he should be able to tell me that stuff. But at the same time, I was confused, upset, and hurt.
It took me two years to accept this situation. All my life I viewed my Dad as a straight man who married and loved my Mom. I didn't know anything different. He never acted gay to me. Both of my parents come from an older generation, so it was something that was never spoken about, not even in families.
It took me about two years, to accept the change that had occurred in my life. I was still living at home at the time, and I resented my Dad a lot. We had a lot of arguments and there was a lot of slamming of doors. Soon after I was told my parents were divorcing, I got a good paying job where I could afford to move out and live with some roommates. I lived about 45 minutes from home for a couple of years. In that time I got a job at Starbucks. I loved that job, and I miss the people I used to work with. We were a team and became close friends for awhile. One of the supervisors I worked with was openly a lesbian, and she was a wonderful woman who had a nice partner and they both seemed really really happy.
At the time I started working at Starbucks, I had stopped attending church and being so involved in everything. I was realizing how close minded of a person I had become. What right did I have to judge someone (especially my father) because they were different? I am not GOD, and no one is perfect, and what we think is imperfect or "not right" may be different than how GOD sees it..
I started accepting my father and his choice of lifestyle, slowly, but surely, I forgave him. Some of the things he's done, he shouldn't have, but you know parents aren't perfect, they're human just like me. My Dad is happier, my Mom is happier. They have remained "friends" on good terms. Forgiveness and acceptance is an amazing thing. Not only what it can do for others, but what it can do for yourself.
Holding a grudge towards someone that you don't know, or understand, or misjudge, has got to be the most painful thing you can do to yourself. Who is it affecting more? You or the person who has chosen to be that way? I know from experience, that I was unhappy feeling that way..but my Dad was happier than he had been for a long time.
I guess because of this experience in my life, I am probably one of the most open minded person you will meet. I don't judge people, I don't hold grudges, I don't condemn people..cause when I do that..I'm the one who's really unhappy, not them.
As for equal rights, I believe that everyone deserves to have a partner and to be happy and have that companionship, if that's something that they need. My religious views have changed quite a bit in the last 5-6 years. I am a spiritual person, I believe in a God or higher power, and I believe that we are all created equal and no one is lesser than another. I believe that we are all here for a purpose and to experience life in different ways, in order to grow and learn.
I know that this experience is one, that has changed me personally in many ways. Most of all, its taught me that a lot of times when we point the finger at someone else for their ways, its ourselves that need to change, not them.
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