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HELPING THE POVERTY IN SAN FRANCISCO 

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"Rock The Green" Milwaukee, WI

 My Personal Story Living in the Bay Area 

 About 8 years ago I had lived in the Bay Area near San Francisco, (Castro Valley) and I can say that the poverty level out there is outrageous. 

    I remember driving in Berkley, CA one night near the college campus, and there is literally a whole block of lawn just for homeless people. I couldn't believe my eyes what I was seeing. I've never seen something like that ever in my entire life before, well not in the United States. 

    But, this is the norm out there, I saw it everywhere I went. Oakland, Castro Valley, Palo Alto, San Francisco.. There was not a corner I drove by that I did not see someone homeless. 

   I guess it cuts to my heart because I had a personal experience while living out there, my boyfriend at the time, became homeless after he lost his job and a place to stay from lack of income. 

We were crazy in love. I had a comfortable place to live (I was a Nanny for a family in Castro Valley) and there were times I would drive to meet him in Martinez during the night, just so he could sleep somewhere. And we'd sleep in the car all night. It was fall, approaching winter, and it would get really cold in the hills. However, I could not be with him during the week because of my job, so some nights, I'd lay there in my nice warm bed, knowing the person I loved was sleeping on a picnic table, in the cold, freezing rain, and I'd lay there and cry.

   It was a very humbling experience for me, I will never forget. Therefore, I have a compassion for people that struggle and are trying to survive in this nation.  

   Poverty can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter where you come from, it is a matter of circumstances at times. Yeah we can all make bad choices, and there's a re-action for every action we take. However, when the economy is bad, people lose their jobs, it doesn't matter what education they have, it doesn't matter what kind of talent or skills they have, they can still be forced to live in the streets. 

   And when that happens, it's very discouraging to the soul. You feel you aren't good enough, you feel that no matter how hard you try to find the right job, it just isn't happening. And then you end up asking the question "why me?" Why do I "deserve" this? 

 The truth is, no one deserves it. 

  What happened to compassion in this country? What happened to community living? What happened to hiring someone for their talent and skill, and not just for their attractive appeal that they may have? 

    I had a life-changing experience coming from that job in Castro Valley. The family I worked for, they didn't like that I had a boyfriend who was homeless, and when they found out I was helping him sleep in their car, and giving him money so he could eat and staying in hotels. They "let me go" in concern for my well being, was their excuse. They then asked me "Do you wanna go back to WI or stay here?" I knew if I stayed in California, I'd be homeless as well. 

   I called my boyfriend. He told me to go home to Wisconsin. Well, that meant us not being together anymore. I had a hard decision to make.

  I made that sacrifice. My heart was broken into a million pieces.  I was in love for the first time in my life, I was living in a beautiful city/area that I had fallen in love with as well, and I had to leave it all, or face being homeless. 

   Flying home was the most morbid feeling I ever felt. I felt guilty for leaving someone I loved (especially in a homeless state), I also felt like a failure because it was the first time I was ever let go in that career.

  But, having gone through all that, I learned to know what it's like be helpless. To feel like your life is completely out of our own control. You begin to feel as if your fate is not up to you anymore.. It's a huge level of trust you have to give in to, not only to the divine universe or whatever religion you trust in, but also to the people in your community and city. 

  Not everyone has family that is there for them, not everyone has friends that will take them in every night. It's a sad, depressing world out there for some people. 

 And for people like Mitt Romney to say that 47% of the population "act" like they are victims is so repulsive to me. 

Our country is about to fall, and who is going to be there for us when it does?? 

We can't rely on the government anymore, we have to rely on each other, our neighbors, our friends, our community. 

 YOU are that person. 

There are no more excuses. 

There are so many good things we can do as a nation, but we won't get there until people (rich and poor) learn the ONE golden rule we were told growing up...

"Love thy neighbor as thyself."

Close to Home and my Heart

There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved. ~Boy George

I was 25 years old ...
Attending church every Sunday, participating in college ministries and other things in the church. I lived and breathed in the church. I considered myself a strong, faithful Christian. I had strict views on a lot of things, and wasn't so very open minded at the time.

My Dad sat my sister and me down, and explained my parents were getting a divorce. Okay, I was fine with that and knew things would be more peaceful since all they did was argue and were mean to each other.

Then a few days later, my sister tells me "Did Dad talk to you about coming out of the closet?" My response was like "What? No, he didn't..why didn't he tell me?" That hurt my feelings. Like he couldn't be honest with me to my face.

After I thought about it..I knew why he couldn't tell me. Because of my own opinions and views on homosexuality. I felt bad..and awful. I mean he's my father, he should be able to tell me that stuff. But at the same time, I was confused, upset, and hurt.

It took me two years to accept this situation. All my life I viewed my Dad as a straight man who married and loved my Mom. I didn't know anything different. He never acted gay to me. Both of my parents come from an older generation, so it was something that was never spoken about, not even in families.

It took me about two years, to accept the change that had occurred in my life. I was still living at home at the time, and I resented my Dad a lot. We had a lot of arguments and there was a lot of slamming of doors. Soon after I was told my parents were divorcing, I got a good paying job where I could afford to move out and live with some roommates. I lived about 45 minutes from home for a couple of years. In that time I got a job at Starbucks. I loved that job, and I miss the people I used to work with. We were a team and became close friends for awhile. One of the supervisors I worked with was openly a lesbian, and she was a wonderful woman who had a nice partner and they both seemed really really happy.

At the time I started working at Starbucks, I had stopped attending church and being so involved in everything. I was realizing how close minded of a person I had become. What right did I have to judge someone (especially my father) because they were different? I am not GOD, and no one is perfect, and what we think is imperfect or "not right" may be different than how GOD sees it..

I started accepting my father and his choice of lifestyle, slowly, but surely, I forgave him. Some of the things he's done, he shouldn't have, but you know parents aren't perfect, they're human just like me. My Dad is happier, my Mom is happier. They have remained "friends" on good terms. Forgiveness and acceptance is an amazing thing. Not only what it can do for others, but what it can do for yourself.

Holding a grudge towards someone that you don't know, or understand, or misjudge, has got to be the most painful thing you can do to yourself. Who is it affecting more? You or the person who has chosen to be that way? I know from experience, that I was unhappy feeling that way..but my Dad was happier than he had been for a long time.

I guess because of this experience in my life, I am probably one of the most open minded person you will meet. I don't judge people, I don't hold grudges, I don't condemn people..cause when I do that..I'm the one who's really unhappy, not them.

As for equal rights, I believe that everyone deserves to have a partner and to be happy and have that companionship, if that's something that they need. My religious views have changed quite a bit in the last 5-6 years. I am a spiritual person, I believe in a God or higher power, and I believe that we are all created equal and no one is lesser than another. I believe that we are all here for a purpose and to experience life in different ways, in order to grow and learn.

I know that this experience is one, that has changed me personally in many ways. Most of all, its taught me that a lot of times when we point the finger at someone else for their ways, its ourselves that need to change, not them.