Contemplations & Inspirations

Why Digital Media & Web Design?

2011-07-22T10:17:00.008-05:00

I'm 34 years old and have never had a degree. However I am talented in many ways. In fact, so many ways that it took me forever to decide what to get a degree in.

When I was 19, I went to school for Graphic Arts, but then I quit because I was BORED!

(no this is NOT me, but merely a representation of my teenage angst)

Needless to say my parents were not happy! Since then, I've worked retail, I've been a waitress, a hostess, and a receptionist. I was a full-time Nanny for 8.5 years, I was an apprentice at a hair salon-I cut, styled, & colored hair. I've painted murals, sold photographs, and this last year I took a few photography classes at the local Tech college. It was exactly a year ago last summer, that I started to think back on my life and wonder if I should have never quit school when I was 19 years old.

After one of my photography classes I was looking at some graphic art work on the hall of school near my classroom. My photography instructor came over to me and said "I always enjoy looking at their work. You know I used to do this before I got into photography?" I said "Really? Me too..only I quit school for it, over ten years ago." And he said to me "Well, it's never too late to go back. You're still young yet." Then he winked at me and said that "no thing's impossible". It was like he was a messenger sent from heaven. I'm glad that conversation happened.

Soon after that conversation, I started researching on how to make graphics and logos from Photoshop. I attempted a few "simple" logos, they looked pretty good considering my lack of knowledge of Photoshop. I only have Photoshop Elements 7 to work with. It would be nice if I had something more updated and expansive, but alas it was given to me for free. I am thankful I have even that to work with!

Once I realized that I can do decent logos with a limited software, then maybe this would be something I could do for a career. I looked around online and found some websites where you can submit your work and they choose the best logo or graphic for their company. Basically you're against hundreds of other entries, but you can tell who has the best software and better creativity. However having good software doesn't always mean anything. You have to have a creative mind in order to produce a catching logo. Several of my "simple" but creative logos were under consideration, but then I got banned from the website for some reason, and they didn't even tell me WHY! Maybe I copied someones idea and didn't even realize it? I don't know, but you gotta be very careful on being original. I was pretty pissed, because several of the offers were around $500-$2,000 for EACH logo submitted.

It was then that I realized, "Hey that's a decent amount of money for just ONE logo, imagine what I could do if I went back to college and learned a bit more?" Some of the top designers on that website made $50,000.00/year. Damn. Being a Nanny I only made about $15,000.00 a year. I could totally make a living off that, travel, have my own place and perhaps someday (soon I hope) support a family.

So the decision was pretty easy to make after that discovery. When I went to school for Graphic Design back in 1998, the digital world was not as advanced as it is today, and the job market for it wasn't really big. That was another reason I dropped out. I wasn't guaranteed a job once I graduated. I thought it would be a big waste of time and money. Still my parents didn't want to accept me quitting. Well, I don't regret it, because if I hadn't, then maybe I wouldn't be going into what I'm going for now, which is Digital Media & Web Design. They didn't even offer this or was in existence back in 1998. Plus, I can make a good deal of income with this new career. I know some people who graduated with a degree in Graphic Design, and NONE of them are even doing that kind of work here in Wisconsin.

That's another thing. Location, location, location. Milwaukee, Wisconsin isn't exactly the center of media attention. I have lived in Orlando, FL and San Francisco, CA and those are places I really enjoyed living in. I MAY resort back to either of those places once I graduate, to secure any success I may have in the future. We shall see.

ONE STEP AT A TIME :)

I am looking forward to my studies and learning this new world of Digital design..most importantly designing websites and using Photoshop. I think it's amazing the things you can do with that software! It's like magic at your fingertips, and hey we all like to do a little magic ;)

Peace From Within

2011-07-03T21:45:00.004-05:00

The past couple months, I've been doing a lot of searching and looking inside myself. Allowing myself to be open to the world and people around me. I feel as if I'm come to a new place. And I wish I could put it into words easier..All I can do is share with you some things that have happened and what I've learned from them..

I was traveling to Orlando in March when I went through a horrendous day flying from one airport to the next. It was the most frustrating and upsetting day I've ever had while traveling. Missing my connection flight and on top of that American Airlines made me pay twice to check in my luggage. Then since I missed my flight I had to fly into Orlando later than all the rest of my family who I was meeting there. They were already at the Resort and starting their vacation while I sat in a terminal in Atlanta. You can believe I was pissed. While I waited for my connection flight, I had a few hours and a lot of time to think. I was still recovering from a breakup and my heart hadn't totally healed. I was in a state of "when is it going to be MY turn to be happy?" and "What is so wrong with me that no one wants to be with me?" and "WHY won't anything ever go RIGHT for me??" ETC. ETC. We've ALL been there..

So here I am on my laptop at the airport chatting with a friend and realizing that strangers are noticing the tears streaking down my face. I sat there thinking "I thought I was going to marry this man, how am I ever going to get over this? Will it ever go away?" As they say, time heals. Time..then I started thinking "I'm going to be 34 this year and I've never been married and never had any children? What do people think of me? That I'm not capable of a committed relationship? That I'm not mature enough to get married? That I'm not pretty enough?"

At that same time I was crying and sitting in that airport, I read something in an email that was sent to me: "If you keep thinking negatively about yourself, that reflects on your outer self and radiates to other people, whether you 'say' anything or not. Your Soul has a mirror. If you are not at peace with yourself, the world will steer away. And the longer you feel that way, the longer you are going to wait for your other half. We must love ourselves first, before someone else can love us"

DING! Light Bulb! And boy I felt like a fool at that moment..it was so true. I've heard those things said before many times, but never really followed it. I guess I had to crash and burn first in order to see that it was what I truly needed to follow.

It's been 3 months since that day.

I've made some new decisions in my life and it is going in a new direction and for the first time in a while I am happy and peaceful with myself..

I've also realized that when it comes to love and romance, it is not something you can control, it is not something you can predict, it is not something that you chase. It finds you when YOU find you. It happens when it's the perfect moment. And I'd rather hold out for that moment than chase someone that is just going to clip my wings and drag me under..I want to fly with that person. I don't want a man that isn't going to help me spread my wings.

Every experience is a learning opportunity. Every heartache, every disappointment, every betrayal, is something we can grow from..but that's our choice. We can either let it bury us deeper into destruction or we can say "well that was dumb" learn from it, and "let it go.."

Next time you're feeling icky about yourself, just breathe...look ahead, and know that you are worth your existence. If someone can't see that, than they aren't the one for you. They aren't capable of helping you FLY..

You deserve goodness. Believe it, and it will come to you.

*Raise your glass* To yourself ;)

Long Time No See

2011-04-21T15:10:00.002-05:00

I know I know...it's been almost a year since I been here! Just distracted by other things in life I guess. I admit I'm a facebook junkie and I've spend too much time on there. I've been thinking that I might come back here and do more of a photography blog. My skills are getting better and I've taken a few classes.

I'll be going back to school in the fall for Media and Web design. I'm sooo looking forward to it! It's going to be a jammed pack two years since I'll be going full-time but I'm 33 yrs old and want to get it done and over with, and get on the road to success. Hopefully the economy will be better in the next two years..
But my doubts are high on that.

I've been blessed with Photoshop Elements 7 software that I got for free from a friend. However, I'd like to get a more advanced one eventually. For Christmas in 2009 I got a Canon Rebel Xsi and have been having a lot of fun with it :) As for my photography classes I've taken a composition class, a Macro photography class, and a travel photography class. All have been informative. BUT the one class I really really want to take is Studio Portraits..It just happens to cost over $300 to enroll. :P Maybe next summer I can take it as an extra class through financial aid? We shall see.

Okay that's it for the updates for now. Gonna get on some reading.
Have a nice and pleasant Easter everyone!!

Love Kelly

Close to Home and my Heart

2010-05-01T20:06:00.004-05:00

There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved. ~Boy George

I was 25 years old (about 8 yrs ago)...
Attending church every Sunday, participating in college ministries and other things in the church. I lived and breathed in the church. I considered myself a strong, faithful Christian. I had strict views on a lot of things, and wasn't so very open minded at the time.

My Dad sat my sister and me down, and explained my parents were getting a divorce. Okay, I was fine with that and knew things would be more peaceful since all they did was argue and were mean to each other.

Then a few days later, my sister tells me "Did Dad talk to you about coming out of the closet?" My response was like "What? No, he didn't..why didn't he tell me?" That hurt my feelings. Like he couldn't be honest with me to my face.

After I thought about it..I knew why he couldn't tell me. Because of my own opinions and views on homosexuality. I felt bad..and awful. I mean he's my father, he should be able to tell me that stuff. But at the same time, I was confused, upset, hurt and taking more of my mother's side.

It took me two years to accept this situation. All my life I viewed my Dad as a straight man who married and loved my Mom. I didn't know anything different. He never acted gay to me. Both of my parents come from an older generation, so it was something that was never spoken about, not even in families.

It took me about two years, to accept the change that had occurred in my life. I was still living at home at the time, and I resented my Dad a lot. We had a lot of arguments and there was a lot of slamming of doors. Soon after I was told my parents were divorcing, I got a good paying job where I could afford to move out and live with some roommates. I lived about 45 minutes from home for a couple of years. In that time I got a job at Starbucks. I loved that job, and I miss the people I used to work with. We were a team and became close friends for awhile. One of the supervisors I worked with was openly a lesbian, and she was a wonderful woman who had a nice partner and they both seemed really really happy.

At the time I started working at Starbucks, I had stopped attending church and being so involved in everything. I was realizing how close minded of a person I had become. What right did I have to judge someone (especially my father) because they were different? I am not GOD, and no one is perfect, and what we think is imperfect or "not right" may be different than how GOD sees it..

I started accepting my father and his choice of lifestyle, slowly, but surely, I forgave him. Some of the things he's done, he shouldn't have, but you know parents aren't perfect, they're human just like me. My Dad is happier, my Mom is happier. They have remained "friends" on good terms. Forgiveness and acceptance is an amazing thing. Not only what it can do for others, but what it can do for yourself.

Holding a grudge towards someone that you don't know, or understand, or misjudge, has got to be the most painful thing you can do to yourself. Who is it affecting more? You or the person who has chosen to be that way? I know from experience, that I was unhappy feeling that way..but my Dad was happier than he had been for a long time.

I guess because of this experience in my life, I am probably one of the most open minded person you will meet. I don't judge people, I don't hold grudges, I don't condemn people..cause when I do that..I'm the one who's really unhappy, not them.

As for equal rights, I believe that everyone deserves to have a partner and to be happy and have that companionship, if that's something that they need. My religious views have changed quite a bit in the last 5-6 years. I am a spiritual person, I believe in a God or higher power, and I believe that we are all created equal and no one is lesser than another. I believe that we are all here for a purpose and to experience life in different ways, in order to grow and learn.

I know that this experience is one, that has changed me personally in many ways. Most of all, its taught me that a lot of times when we point the finger at someone else for their ways, its ourselves that need to change, not them.

Conclusions

2010-04-13T15:50:00.003-05:00

In the last year there has been a lot of confusion and concerns about a situation that I have been in. Some people know about it, some do not. Nonetheless, I am trying to forget the past, and focus more on the present.
I am going to be as honest as I can, without revealing too much because I am concerned for the parties involved. I am trying to move on from this. I want there to be a peace within the community, and I don’t want any more judgments about what is going on. It has affected me in an emotional way, and it has been very hard on me, knowing that people have been talking about this.

People will always have their opinions and whatnots about it, that’s something I cannot control. I have come to accept that notion. I just hope and pray that after time, people will open their hearts a bit more, and try to see this was not something that I coaxed up or hallucinated, or used to gain attention. Whatever it was, I did not create it. I am not sure what its intentions were, or how it started…all I know, is that it affected my life in such a way that it drove me to believe its lies and manipulations.

I have been doing some research on the matter, and I have come to some conclusions as to what could have been going on, but I don’t think I will ever know 100% what it was.
My first conclusion is a “thought form”: Nonphysical entities that exist in the mental or astral plane and are created purely from thought. Theosophists and clairvoyants place thought-forms in three classifications: the image of the thinker; an image of material object associated with the thought; and an independent image expressing the inherent qualities of the thought.

I am not sure, if it came to be a thought form, how it was created. Because whatever this thing is, it came to me first. I didn’t sit around for hours trying to conjure up an image or a form, or whatever. This is why I have been so confused for many months. However, it is very possible that someone else created this image and it found a path between me and this person, and decided to stay there, since I was convinced that it was this person?

(I do remember when this whole thing started that someone else had told me what this thing was, and it was coming around to me. Perhaps they created it? I do have a name of this person, but I will not reveal it here). –If you are reading this and are concerned about this person, please contact me on my profile page.

Another conclusion, “Psychic energy”: The metaphysical and/or paranormal definition generally views psychic energy in being physically interactive but is not itself inherently dependent upon the physical for its sustenance and/or existence. Psychic energy is attention. Anything that takes away our attention is using our psychic energy. The more psychic energy you can give to a thing, the more it will develop and grow. What you focus on expands.

I will admit perhaps my focus and being as I have psychic abilities, probably expanded that energy into something larger than what it was? I will not deny that I have spent a great deal dealing with the situation and trying to “see” for myself what it was. Perhaps it is a combination of both conclusions listed above?
Whatever it is, I do have regrets about some things, and I do feel awkward about it all.

However, I am moving on with my life and forgetting the past. I am making some changes for myself, and I am in process of “closing” this situation up. I don’t know how else to explain it in a simpler term. I won’t go into details about how I am doing this, but I just want people to know that I respect everyone involved, and that I am moving on, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. Actually, I have been in that process for the past several months.

On a last note, if I have offended anyone or upset anyone, I apologize. I was depressed, frustrated, distraught, confused, and emotionally effected by this. I hope all parties will forgive me and realize that I am only human.

As for the other person involved, what they choose to do with this, is their decision. We have gone our separate ways, and I only hope that they find peace and comfort in their life once again. Please pray for them, if you know who I am talking about.

*Please do not ask me questions about this matter or leave comments on here. Out of respect for me and everyone involved. Just leave it as it is. I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you, for any sincerity and concerns you have had or may have.

Dedication to Miners of WV

2010-04-08T23:37:00.004-05:00

Here is a slide show I did in honor of the miners that were lost, and their families. My prayers and thoughts are with them...Please feel free to share with others and pass it on. Coal miners are the heart of America and what makes this country what it is all about..Hard work and honest pay. They don't get the credit they deserve most of the time.

How Photography Connects Us To Our World

2010-03-14T23:45:00.002-05:00

I love National Geographic. And when I was a little kid, I would spend hours looking through the piles of magazines that my Dad had collected, just looking at the photographs. I think I learned a lot about people and the world just by doing that. I remember being as young as maybe 5 or 6 and being emotionally connected to the images.

Here is David Griffon, (the director of photography for Nat'l Geographic) speaking about how photographs connect us to the world around us, and the impact they have on us. I was very excited to watch this. I hope you are as well

David Griffin on how photography connects us | Video on TED.com

Hideaway

2010-02-15T14:31:00.016-06:00

Here is a song from one of my favorite bands, Pearl Jam, and lead singer Eddie Vedder. Check out the lyrics and the photos I posted below...

You've got to hide your love away - Eddie Vedder from iLoveCovers.com on Vimeo.

"You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" -by Eddie Vedder

Here I stand head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on
Feelin' two-foot small

Everywhere people stare
Each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
And I hear them say

Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away

How could I even try
I can never win
Hearing them seeing them
In the state I'm in

How could she say to me
Love will find a way
Gather round all you clowns
Let me hear you say

Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away

My Review of movie: Lovely Bones

2010-02-10T18:47:00.003-06:00

I have not read the book, but I intend to, since most people are saying the book is even better than the movie. Which is usually the case with most books that are made into movies.

This movie was so emotionally raw and beautifully done, that it definitely should win some Oscars in my opinion. It will sink into your bones and make you shudder inside..it will also warm your heart and remind you of how important family is. How we take life for granted so much and we forget that it could end at any time. I believe we all have a destiny, a fate, as you want to call it. Some of us are meant to be here a short while, and some of us are meant to be here for a long time.

That doesn't necessarily mean that some have more to learn than others or less than others, it just means that the time we are here on this earth, whatever we do, is what matters. The film also portrays Karma. What goes around will eventually come around. If you put out love, love comes back to you. If you put out evil, it comes back to you. The universe has a way, in-between its dimensions, of working things out. Sometimes it is clear to us, and other times, it takes a while for us to realize what is happening.

You see the life of a girl that was murdered from her side, as she waits for her family to find her killer..and to come to peace with themselves, and her death..once those things have come to pass, she feels that she can cross over and be at peace in the new world that awaits her.

It is certainly not a film for children. I would say it is best for teenagers and adults. It can be very graphic and very raw and emotional. Definitely a movie worth seeing, no matter who you are in this life.

New Project in the Making

2010-02-05T14:46:00.001-06:00

If you look at my Flickr photostream to the right, you will see my latest project. I am making a book of this lil guy's adventures. Hoping that it will be out in print and ready to sell by mid-summer. That is my goal, but none the less-we will see what happens!

The book will NOT be a children's book! It is mostly adult humor, fun and cuteness! I will be using lulu.com for my publishing, and will let you all know when it is ready for sale. I will also be selling the book at my flyingcart.com store. See the link at the top of this blog to get there!

Hope you all are having a great week!

Peace,
Kelly

Some needed Inspiration...

2010-02-04T10:31:00.008-06:00

Going through a situation right now that has got me confused and emotionally frustrated. So I went on a search for some photos/quotes that inspired me today. Here are the ones that spoke to me the most:

We are the kings and queens of promise...

2010-01-24T21:19:00.002-06:00

Here is a photo montage I put together today. I worked quite a few hours on it. I hope it is appreciated and enjoyed. May you all have a great week!

Much love
Kelly

Kings & Queens Photo Montage from Kelly Sebranek on Vimeo.

Branching Out

2010-01-08T14:11:00.001-06:00

Hey folks,

People keep telling me that I should sell, so here goes! I am only doing a couple prints right now, just to test the waters. If there are any other photos of mine on my blog, that you would like to purchase, let me know. I will certainly make an effort to put them up for purchase!

http://kellynichole.flyingcart.com/

Hope you all are having a great 2010!!!

Much love,
Kelly

Happy New Year:

2010-01-02T07:19:00.000-06:00

Driving home from the airport at the wee hours this morning, I heard a song by Rob Thomas come on the radio. I thought it was perfect, for the beginning of 2010. Here are the lyrics:

"Someday"

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

Been doing some experiments with a "Negative" lens effect on my Sony digital camera. Here are a few of my favorites:

I hope this year finds many of you growing and learning and reaching new heights. Challenge yourself, and conquer some of your fears. It's the only way we grow and become better people. I don't make new years resolutions, instead I think "What can I do this year to better myself a little more than last year?" Also, what things do I need to let go of, and what can I change and what can I not change?

I know with the economy and job losses, times are tough and some are holding on to everything that they have. I have been in that dark pit, and I try and remember and be thankful for the things that I do have, because it can always be worse...as my Mom likes to say.

For me, it's been a crazy year, and there were times of joy and adventure, and times of sorrow and confusion. Hopefully the new year will bring some revelations and fulfillment, along with new adventures and excitement.

I am staying optimistic, I hope you are too!

Peace,
Kelly

"Avatar" the movie: My Reflections

2009-12-19T22:27:00.000-06:00

I just saw the movie, "Avatar." I cannot stop thinking about it.

Not only is the movie just epic, and the effects, and plot well done, but it really gets to the heart on some issues...

My head is spinning at where to begin this review. This movie really made me think about life and love and what we value most in this world.

I found myself asking what do I value most? What is most important to me, and to our race as a people? This movie is not just a love story but it's also about being one with your people and the earth and your community. It's a story about believing in someone even when you have lost hope..it's a movie about faith.

Not just faith in a god, but in each other, and faith that love can conquer any obstacle it faces. True love (whether in another person, or a family or community) has the power to find a way to what is important, to what is true and pure.

There is a lot of ugliness in this world, a lot of betrayal and war. Their is a lot of destruction, not only to this earth, but to our souls as well. People have lost sight of why we are here on this planet. We are the caretakers, we are the ones that can protect this planet, and protect each other and the animals that live on it.

I am getting all philosophical now, haha-but it is what I truly feel. I have a heart for humanity, even when it is ugly. I have a heart for this earth and the animals. We are all connected, and that's what this movie portrays.

I think the movie also shows us that our minds and souls are more powerful than we believe them to be. If people would just be more open to the possibilities that the mind is a gift and a powerful tool, who knows what we could achieve. However, the minds of some are not always good, and that can be a danger as well.

The "love story" in the movie is a heartwarming one. It's a bit like the story of Pocahontas. Some of it really hit home to me, but that is something I won't get into. All I will say is that the story encouraged me to keep believing in the things that I know and to hold on to them. It helped remind me, that true love, can overcome any obstacle, if it is a fate, it will find a way.

I urge everyone to see the movie, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and it'll make your heart race! Get ready for a wild ride! ;-)

Peace,
Kelly

Winter Scenes

2009-12-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo montage I have done a few days ago. A snowstorm hit the Midwest this week, and the snow was just beautiful...

One of my favorite Christmas music artists "Mannheim Steamroller"

Winter Conversation

by Joyce Wakefield

I listen to you explain the difference
between a right brain thought and a left.
I am distracted by the smell
of cold on your face.
I lick it away like a child
with an ice cream cone
sticky fingers and sweet tongue.

Aware that I have been here before
I pause in your words.
I have slept in this flesh,
dreamed these winter bones.

Waking in the darkness between us
I hear frost sweeping the porch,
edging toward the morning.
I reach for your hand.

What, you whisper, voice hoarse with dream.
My lips, swollen with you, cold,
are silent.

The Sky is the Limit

2009-12-04T16:00:00.000-06:00

I've been having a lot of fun creating some really colorful and abstract photographs I've taken of our magnificent atmosphere...I'd like to share a few with you, along with some quotes I've found.

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. ~John Muir, 1913

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. ~Bill Vaughn

And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. ~William Shakespeare

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun.
~Charles Hanson Towne

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. ~Author Unknown

The Man I Seek...

2009-11-25T13:57:00.000-06:00

Is..

Compassionate: About everything he does. About people, and about life.

Sensitive: To others feelings and points of views.

Open-minded: Doesn't judge others.

Child-like: Isn't afraid to be silly or talk to children and make them laugh.

Optimistic: His glass is half full instead of half empty.

Creative: He uses his mind and talent to make beautiful things out of simple things.

Quirky: He has a sense of humor and a dorkiness to him that makes him different than other guys.

Intimate: Likes to cuddle, and isn't afraid to talk about his feelings when he needs to.

Down to earth: Easy going and not over dramatic or plays games with your head. He is real.

Sexual: Isn't afraid to try new things and express himself in a sexual way.

Handsome: The way he holds himself up and the little things about him, that make him stand out from the others. Or perhaps the way he looks at me :)

Romantic: Creative in his ways of showing how much he loves me, whether its something simple or over the the top, it doesn't matter to me. As long as it's from the heart.

A great kisser: He knows how to hold a kiss and keep you wanting more. ;)

Faithful and Honest: No matter how hard things get, he is there to work it out and support me. Believes in open communication.

Faith: Has faith in "something" that makes him want to be a better person and do good things. That makes him have a heart for the world...

Complete: Makes me feel like I am whole and protected when he is near.

He is...someone, that makes my heart flutter every time he is near, no matter how many times I see his face :)

Quotes & Snapshots

2009-11-15T14:47:00.000-06:00

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. ~John Ruskin

There are three stages of a man's life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus. ~Author Unknown

Reason is our soul's left hand, Faith her right. ~John Donne

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. ~Mark Overby

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. ~Emily Kimbrough

May the roof above us never fall in
And may we good companions beneath it never fall out.
~Irish Blessing

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
~Vincent Van Gogh

Veterans & Armistice Day Photos

2009-11-13T15:36:00.000-06:00

Found these photos online here

These are very powerful and moving. We need to honor those that have fallen, that have given their lives to serve their country.

"Last Wednesday was Armistice Day, when on the "eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month", in 1918, the armistice was signed for the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front at the end of World War I. The date is now observed by many of the allied nations from that era as Veterans Day, Armistice Day, Remembrance Day or Poppy Day"
-

My first HDR

2009-11-08T19:04:00.000-06:00

I had no idea about HDR photography, until Sergey Poberezhny posted on his blog about it...

So I went on a quest and I conquered...well at least I think I did.

Now, this is my first try, so excuse it if it isn't exactly "great". I thrive on perfection with my photos, so I'm a little edgy about showing this. However I would like opinions on what I could maybe do better?

Some new work of mine

2009-11-05T19:46:00.000-06:00

I've been really enjoying playing with colors with my photos. Here are a few of some of my favorites that I've done. You can see more at my flickr website:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kellynichole

Just For Fun

2009-11-03T18:11:00.000-06:00

Here is a photography website I enjoy venturing to once in a while. I like to put some of these photographs on my desktop once in a while too.

http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Caedes::Gallery&gallery=photography

Here are a few recent ones I thought were pretty amazing:

Having been to Estes Park, recently I thought this was beautiful and the place really is stunning to see!

I love the contrast in this one, and how the lighting worked perfectly in a sepia setting. It's not always easy to achieve.

Care for a drink anyone? I love the colors and the repetition in this one.

Like the color in the black and white setting, I love doing this with a lot of my photos. It really puts the focus on one particular image, almost like you want that certain part of the photo to speak to it's viewers and say something.

Autism Awareness

2009-11-01T22:42:00.000-06:00

I have a heart for those children/adults who have been diagnosed with Autism. Having had some experience with hands on tutoring with autistic children, I have learned a great deal about them.

Also, in my Child Development classes, I have been educated about the effects of Autism and the research that is being done to help find a cure and the genetic make-up of why one child may have it and another may not. There are so many missing puzzle pieces that are yet to be found.

Here is a website that I strongly encourage you to check out. Just by watching one of the videos, will help raise money toward Autism research.

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/list/filter/autismspeaks

Here is one video that I find especially moving:

They are trying to get a bill passed in order that more Health Insurances will cover the treatment of Autism. If you go to the website, you can donate more money if you choose to.

My heart goes out to any families that have been affected by this tough disease. However I have found that Autism is a characteristic all on its own. Each child is affected differently. They see the world different from us, and in some ways they are blessed that they will always have the mind of a child, and have their innocence. In other ways, it can be outright frustrating for those who love them and care for them.

But in the end, what matters most for these kids, is the love and the attention and education and therapy that they need, so they can have a happy and fulfilling life.

Happy Halloweeeeen!

2009-10-31T13:20:00.000-05:00

Since it is national "spooky day" I decided to post some zombie photos I found in a photo journal from the Wall Street Journal

*Being a huge zombie fan, I couldn't resist posting a few of my favorites from the bunch*

here is the link: http://blogs.wsj.com /photojournal/2009/10/22/zombie-city-usa/

I am about to see Micheal Jackson's "This is It" in a few hours. I am excited to see it!

Hopes everyone has a safe all Hallows Eve!

Demand It NOW

2009-10-27T16:05:00.000-05:00

Here is the link to demand the American Ghost Hunter: the movie.

View all Milwaukee events on Eventful

The American Ghost Hunter Movie

2009-10-27T11:08:00.000-05:00

My Reflections:

This movie is definitely different than your average ghost movie. It's real, it's raw, and it's honesty is very moving. At the end of the film, the crowd at the Stanley Hotel at the PRS/AGH event, was silenced. We weren't sure exactly how to react, but we were sure moved by Chad Calek's story of his family and the shit they have gone through. I truly feel that this movie will help those that have gone through similar experiences, and aren't sure where to go or what to do about it.

Chad's perspective and his approach to the situation is interesting and motivating to watch. What I mean by that, is that it took a huge amount of courage to make this film and put his private life out there for people to see. This is not a film to take lightly. It is a film that makes you think about life, religion, and the people in our lives, and how it effects us daily. If you think you know everything about the Paranormal, you're wrong. Even experts who have studied in the field for years I believe will be scratching their heads while watching this film. I am understanding now, that no matter how long the paranormal has been a part of your life, there is always unexplained answers. Good or bad..

Having gotten to know the people in the film to a certain degree, I was affected by it. It was heart wrenching to watch at times. Chad and the others in the film are great people who worked super hard to get this movie out, in order that others will be helped and also "understood" with what they are going through.

My goal is to help promote this movie and get it out there. This story deserves to be heard, it deserves to be seen, for the sake of those that are crying out for help. Please pass the word on and get it out to the public.

**Thank you to Chad Calek, Ryan Buell, Justin Holstien, Joe Ansley, and Sergey Poberezhny for an amazing film and you have my best wishes and prayers!

UFO Sightings on YouTube

2009-10-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

There are so many youtube videos with UFO sightings. There are a lot of fake ones too. Like people pretending to shake the camera so it looks like it's moving around in circles. Or they are actually airplanes, and I must wonder if they are drunk when recording the video...

However there are a few that stick out, that seem very possible, and real. For example, the think below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw2ceke9tYk

and the many videos of the recorded lights over Phoenix, AZ. and different parts of Arizona, between the years 2005 and 2006. Here is one I thought had the best footage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eNtolbJLws&feature=related

UFO's and Aliens

2009-10-09T15:00:00.000-05:00

Do you believe in this stuff? Well, I happen to believe in it. Why, you ask?

Well if I hadn't seen something strange in the sky one night, when I was about 19 years old, I would probably would still be doubting the idea.

Here's my story:

I was driving home from my job at the local ice cream/hamburger place. It was about 1:30 a.m. And it was a little out into the countryside, so the skies were very clear and you could see the stars that night. Well I looked out my front windshield, and I saw this orb of light that was pretty far up above me, and it was dancing around like those little laser pointers do. I mean it was super fast and there was no way any flying machine that we have, would have the technology to do such a thing. Luckily there were no cars on the road so I kept glancing up at it..It came closer and closer to the earth's atmosphere, as it was dancing around, and then suddenly it shot up into the sky and disappeared, obviously going at light speed. I was dumbfounded, I thought what the heck was that? That was not human, for sure. I know I wasn't imagining it, because I have never done any type of drugs that would cause me to hallucinate. I wasn't that tired, so it couldn't have been that. I'm not sure what it was but in my mind it was definitely a UFO.

Here is a youtube video that I found, that is somewhat familiar to what I saw on that late summer night. (Note: not the best footage, but it is similar to what I saw, only mine was at night)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-mPJZrEMfo&feature=related

My next few posts I will dedicate it to alien proof and conspiracies that I have found to be believable. Here is a video that I came across today by a fellow tweeter. It is very convincing, and very cool, if it is true!

http://jimharold.com/?p=2128

Peace to the above and beyond,
Kelly

Halloween Past

2009-10-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

Considering that one of my favorite holidays is approaching I thought I would share some facts about the history of Halloween. (copied from Wikipedia)

On All Hallows’ eve, the ancient Celts would place a skeleton on their window sill to represent the departed. Originating in Europe, these lanterns were first carved from a turnip or rutabaga. Believing that the head was the most powerful part of the body, containing the spirit and the knowledge, the Celts used the "head" of the vegetable to frighten off the embodiment of superstitions.Welsh, Irish and British myth are full of legends of the Brazen Head, which may be a folk memory of the widespread ancient Celtic practice of headhunting - the results of which were often nailed to a door lintel or brought to the fireside to speak their wisdom.

The name jack-o'-lantern can be traced back to the Irish legend of Stingy Jack,a greedy, gambling, hard-drinking old farmer. He tricked the devil into climbing a tree and trapped him by carving a cross into the tree trunk. In revenge, the devil placed a curse on Jack, condemning him to forever wander the earth at night with the only light he had: a candle inside of a hollowed turnip.

The carving of pumpkins is associated with Halloween in North Americawhere pumpkins are both readily available and much larger- making them easier to carve than turnips. Many families that celebrate Halloween carve a pumpkin into a frightening or comical face and place it on their doorstep after dark. The American tradition of carving pumpkins preceded the Great Famine period of Irish immigration and was originally associated with harvest time in general, not becoming specifically associated with Halloween until the mid-to-late 19th century.

Origin of name

The term Halloween, originally spelled Hallowe’en, is shortened from All Hallows’ Even ("All Hallows' Eve") [eve is an abbreviation of even, an older word for evening.

Halloween gets -een as a contraction of even to e'en], from the Old English term eallra hālgena ǣfen meaning "All Hallow' Evening", as it is the eve of "All Hallows’ Day", which is now also known as All Saints’ Day.

It was a day of religious festivities in various northern European pagan traditions,until Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints’ Day from May 13 (which had itself been the date of a pagan holiday, the Feast of the Lemures) to November 1. In the 9th century, the Church measured the day as starting at sunset, in accordance with the Florentine calendar.

Although All Saints’ Day is now considered to occur one day after Halloween, the two holidays were, at that time, celebrated on the same day.

History

Halloween has origins in the ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain [pronounced: sow- wen]; from the Old Irish samhain, possibly derived from Gaulish samonios).The festival of Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture, and is sometimes regarded as the "Celtic New Year".Traditionally, the festival was a time used by the ancient Celtic pagans to take stock of supplies and slaughter livestock for winter stores.

The ancient Celts believed that on October 31st, now known as Halloween, the boundary between the living and the deceased dissolved, and the dead become dangerous for the living by causing problems such as sickness or damaged crops. The festivals would frequently involve bonfires, into which the bones of slaughtered livestock were thrown. Costumes and masks being worn at Halloween goes back to the Celtic traditions of attempting to copy the evil spirits or placate them, in Scotland for instance where the dead were impersonated by young men with masked, veiled or blackened faces, dressed in white.

Speculations

2009-10-01T14:32:00.000-05:00

There is a situation going on in my life right now, that some people have speculated about, and wondered the validity of what is happening with me. I understand their curiousness, however when it becomes an obsession and an intrusiveness into my life, there is a line that has to be drawn. What is going on with me is personal. And you have no right to judge me, because it is not your business. Some people have talked about what is going on, because they have misread information or have eavesdropped on me. I have only confided in those that I can trust, and unfortunately I misjudged a few of them. I have only been sincere and trusting, but in doing that, I get stabbed in the back. So now I feel forced to get my armor on. Whatever you have been told or heard about, can only be of speculation, because I don't even know all the answers. However, because it is personal to me, it is also an emotional subject. If you have any respect for me, please stop intruding. I know that some people are talking and saying stuff to "spite me" because they *think* they know what is going on. However, unless you have actual proof of what it is, then you have no reason to judge and say stuff about me. I am tired of the drama and the people intruding on my life only because of their obsession with a particular social group. If you have respect for me and these people (if you know who I am talking about) then you would leave it alone. I have also talked with this group on the matter, so whatever it is that you are speculating you really have no business doing so, since you are not involved in the situation. I am not delusional and/or obsessed with anyone or anything, if you have come to believe that, then fine. I don't care what you think. I have only been sincere and optimistic as much as I can be. If you are concerned about my situation I appreciate the concern, but please keep it to yourself. Out of respect for me, and others involved. Thank you.

Shutter Island

2009-09-30T22:27:00.000-05:00

Just a short blog today...here is a movie that I am really anxious to see. I've heard about the stories of Shutter Island. I saw a documentary on it, on the travel channel. Of course the movie is amped up to make it more entertaining, but the history behind the place, if you look it up, it is pretty creepy. I am stoked to see it. Not only cause scruffy and handsome Dicaprio is in it, but because not many people don't know about this place...

http://www.shutterisland.com/

Faith

2009-09-21T21:24:00.000-05:00

What is faith to you?
I am not a religious person anymore. I used to be, but I consider myself to be more spiritual. I am a believer in a God. I believe He creates all things good and pure. I have a hard time in believing a God that is judgmental and cruel. I don't believe HE sends us to hell, but perhaps we send ourselves there...and maybe it is not merely a place, but a state of mind. Who knows? I guess we will never know until we cross over to the other side.

However, I do think that Faith is important, whatever yours may be. As long as it encourages you to do good to others and keeps you strong along this crazy path life leads us on. I went on a hike around this church here in southeastern Wisconsin, called Holy Hill. It is a Catholic Church and Monastery. It is beautiful to walk around and look at the nature and the images of the Stations of the Cross in these woods. As I was walking around in the woods surrounding the church, there was an odd sense of stillness and quietness. It was as if God had walked these woods and left an imprint of his peace. It is a great place to meditate and think, pray, listen, whatever it is that you do. Regardless of your faith, this place seems to draw people in. Here are some photos I took while walking the grounds. Of course I did some editing to them, for some effects. Enjoy.

Remembering 9/11

2009-09-13T12:59:00.000-05:00

I know 9/11/2009 has passed, but these last few days, I've been thinking about that horrific event off and on. I just can't believe how so many people have forgotten that day...Ugh, I mean why are we in the sandbox, why are we over there pursuing a relentless enemy? All for nothing? These people will not die in vein! Now, I am not one for war. It is a cruel and hard thing for any country to endure. However what kind of message do we send if we just sit back and let them keep attacking, not only our country but others as well? How can we live in peace with our daily lives and have the opportunities we have, if we do not defend our country?

I'm proud to be an American, as I've said before. There is no other country I'd rather live in, but for the first time in my life on 9/11/01, I was scared in my own country. Not knowing where else they would try to attack, and if we'd be able to defend ourselves. For the first time in my life, I felt helpless and afraid. I've been very privileged to be born an American citizen.

Looking back on that day, I just pray that this will come to end someday. It's not going to be an easy road, and it make take years to crack down those terrorists. But what is the price of freedom? It is very high my friends, and that is why those towers went down...and why they attacked the Pentagon and attempted to attack the White House. They want to see that freedom, that is so costly, taken away from us, because they have none. Unfortunately, and sadly they are blinded by a hate. A hate, that I still cannot comprehend to this day...nor do I think I ever will...

Above are some photos I took while at Ground Zero, this past Labor Day weekend.

For Fun

2009-09-02T20:34:00.000-05:00

Hey,
I thought I would put up a few funny quotes from some of my favorite movies...

Sally: (discussing orgasms) Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because I know.
Sally: Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
Harry: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.
When Harry Met Sally

Lieutenant Dan: Have you found God yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him.
Forrest Gump (1994)

Mrs. White: It's a matter of life after death, now that he's dead I have a life.

Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: Well your work has not changed.

Col. Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there is no body else in this house?
Wadsworth: Ummm, no.
Col. Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth: No, sorry. I said no meaning yes.
Col. Mustard: No meaning yes? Look I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there? Yes or no?
Wadsworth: Ummm, no.
Col. Mustard: No there is, or no there isn't?
Wadsworth: Yes.

Clue (1985)

Danny: Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up?
Rusty: Blew it all on the suit.

Reuben: You guys are pro's, the best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino, of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!

Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.
Linus: Let's get him out.

Danny: Saul, are you sure you're ready to do this?
Saul: If you ever ask me that question again Daniel, you will not wake up the following morning.
Danny: He's ready.

Oceans 11

Jack Byrnes: I'm just curious, did you pick the color of the car?
Greg Focker: Uh no, the guy at the window did, why?
Jack Byrnes: Well they say geniuses pick green.
Greg Focker: Oh.
Jack Byrnes: But you didn't pick it

Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?

Jack Byrnes: Oh, geez. I just thought of something.
Dina Byrnes: What?
Jack Byrnes: Pam's middle name.
Dina Byrnes: Martha. ...Oh, no.
Jack Byrnes, Dina Byrnes: Pamela Martha Focker!

Meet The Parents

Casper the Friendly Ghost, or Not?

2009-08-31T20:50:00.000-05:00

Here is a photo taken in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. Taken in the former TNT areas where it is notorious for hauntings, and the original Mothman sighting. Can you find the creepy creature in the righthand corner of the photo? The fog is our breathe, however someone told me that it is possible the paranormal can use the surroundings around us to show us they are there..hm, could it be possible?? What do you think?

Speaking of Ghost Stories...

2009-08-30T20:35:00.000-05:00

Here is photo my mom took while touring in Germany. When were looking at the photos I pointed out the 3 small blurs in the photograph. We cannot debunk it. She said it was not raining, and there were no smudges on the lens cause the other pics before and after didn't have anything like it. She was constantly taking photos at this castle. There was no fog in the area either. So we believe there could be 3 possible spirits in this photo..What do YOU think?

A Ghost Story of My Own

2009-08-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

I have a few stories I could share with you all...I decided to do a more lighthearted one this time. I will do a more scary one later.

I used to work in a salon as an apprentice a few years back. After I had worked there a while, my manager confessed to me that she thought the dry cleaners and our hair salon was haunted.

Apparently the ghost would go back and forth. Well, I wasn't sure to take her seriously or not, but I was curious, because I was just starting to try and understand the world of the Paranormal at the time...

Well one night I was by the cash register, near the wall next to the Dry Cleaners, and I heard a knocking sound right by me, coming from the other side of the wall. I looked at my co-worker and her eyes got really big. I smiled and decided to knock back.
My co-worker was like "why are you provoking it?" I said "I am just having fun with it, and I want to see what happens" Well, needless to say a minute later it knocked again, this time, twice.

I giggled and knocked again, but nothing happened after that. Then a few minutes later, I thought I heard something rolling across the tile floor of the dry cleaners next door. I told my manager what I had heard and she said "oh yeah she does that sometimes..and sometimes she'll bang it against our wall" I said, "Bang what?" She told us that the chair near the cash register at the Dry cleaners had wheels on it, and the ghost would sometimes roll it across the floor.

Most of us were pretty convinced there was a ghost next door. The shop closed an hour before the salon did, and it always happened around the same time every night. About 7:45 p.m. to be exact. Well, some nights nothing happened...however it seemed that whenever a few certain hairstylists were working, stuff would happen. My manager, myself, and two other co-workers always seemed to be witness to this activity. No one else ever had any experiences. I still wonder why that is.

One time I was in the back room just finishing my lunch. I stood up with my back towards the back door (Which was ALWAYS locked from the inside). I was talking to my manager when all of a sudden the back door handle turned and open and slammed. I was a little startled but more curious. I looked at the door handle as soon as it slammed shut, it was totally locked. I told my boss that it happened to be locked, and I looked outside and there was nobody around. It was Halloween and we were all dressed up in costumes. My manager said, "Hm they probably wanted to see what we looked like in our costumes!" I was like "Okay...sure" and went back to work.

Well a few days later, I went into the bathroom at work, and the coat rack is in the bathroom, since there wasn't much place for storage. All coats and smocks are hung on hangers. As I was sitting on the toilet, I am watching a hanger tilt itself and a smock falls on the floor. I was like "Okay, great. I am sharing the bathroom with a ghost? Do I have no privacy?" I guess not. At this point I was convinced that ghosts don't always have proper etiquette!

I was only an apprentice for a year, and soon before I left my job, my manager said she had a scary encounter with our ghost. We always thought it was a friendly ghost and that it had a sense of humor. Well one night, she was counting the money at the register after we had closed and everyone else had left. So it was really quiet and all of sudden she hears scratching at the wall next to her from the other side. She said it sounded like a dog was scratching, and trying to get through and it would get faster and louder. She started freaking out and loudly said a Catholic prayer, and it ceased. After that she was not sure if the ghost was so friendly anymore.

Some months after I had left the job, I returned to get my hair done by a former co-worker and I had asked about the ghost, and she said "oh it's gotten worse now, it's like every night something happens, and it's getting out of hand". I thought in my head. Darn, too bad I quit! I think it's one thing if a place you work at is haunted but another thing when it's your own home. If it was my house, I probably wouldn't put up with it!

Quick Stop

2009-08-29T18:21:00.000-05:00

Hey, I realized it's been a while since I posted something on here, so I thought I would put down a few inspirational quotes I was looking up today...

“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.” -unknown

“Those you trust the most can steal the most.” -Lawrence Lief

“I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.”
-Igor Stravinsky quotes (Russian-born modern composer, 1882-1971)

“True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” - Socrates quotes (Ancient Greek Philosopher, 470 BC-399 BC)

“There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.”
-unknown

“True love is like a psychic experience. Everyone tells ghost stories, but few have ever seen a ghost." -unknown

God Bless America...

2009-07-05T10:07:00.001-05:00

After a night of fun on the beach and fireworks, I've been thinking about how great of a country I live in. I am thankful for the freedom we have of religion, speech, and so much more. We tend to complain and whine about our lives and how they could be SO much better if only we had this or that...of course the grass is always greener on the other side. But as I look at other countries around the world...what grass is greener than the United States of America? I have come to know people from different parts of the world via the internet, over the last 6-7 years and let me tell you, I'd much rather be an American and living on American soil. We have SO much that we take for granted...God bless you America!

*Please pray for our soldiers around the globe who help protect this country and make it the great nation that it is.*

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

Thought I would update the blog with some photos I liked on the web of one of my favorite Holidays of the year...

Let's try and remember what it represents!

Praying for Peace In Iran

2009-06-20T23:07:00.000-05:00

Here is a slideshow I put together from photobucket, with a compilation of photos I found off of Google. I am trying to show my support for what is going on.

I know I don't have many visitors here but I am hoping to spread the word about my blog more often.

Please feel free to copy the slideshow and spread your support if you wish.

I am thankful to live in a country where I know I can sleep at night, peacefully.
There is so much we Americans take for granted!

Thoughts

2009-06-20T08:04:00.000-05:00

I have to say for the last 5 months, my life has changed quite a bit.

Well not drastically, but it has been a slow process.

I think I have known all my life that I have certain abilities.

(Which I will not name here, but it relates to the paranormal & psychic world).

There was an event that occurred in my life this past February, and since then, it's like there was an open door for me to be able to see exactly what gifts that I have.

When I told my mom what I discovered she wasn't surprised at all.

I was surprised that she wasn't surprised, ha ha.

She told me that even as a little girl I would ask my parents a question and before they could finish the answer, I had already answered my own question.

She said they had no idea how I was doing it, either I was really smart or I was able to read their minds..Hmm

Well I don't think I'm that powerful of a mind reader, but maybe it has been suppressed over the years.

So for the past 5 months, I've been learning a lot about myself and how to use my gifts.

I had a friend who was acting as a mentor and then she betrayed, misled, and lied to me, but thankfully I was a lot more in tune with my gifts than I thought, and was able to uncover her manipulative ways.

Now unfortunately I don't have a mentor or anyone to show me how to use these gifts. Sometimes I think I am going crazy and I have a hard time not knowing whether what I am seeing is valid or my imagination..

It can be frustrating none the less.

However I am happy to say that I seem to be correct most of the time. It is an exciting thing when something you picked up or predicted or saw or heard, becomes manifested in some form of truth or fact.

It keeps me going.

I am happy to have friends that support me and love me, the way that I am.

I have lost some other close friends because I confided in them about my gifts, and they don't understand, or won't understand...they think what is going on with me is by choice and that what I am doing is evil! (Some people can be so misguided about certain topics)

I guess, unless they are in my shoes, they will never understand.

It hurt me to lose these friends that I've had for the last 9 years, plus their family...but I cannot change who I am, or make these gifts go away.

So I decided that was their choice and their lost, because if they really cared for me, as much as they said they did, then they would see past these things...

I have these gifts for a reason, and I am slowly finding out that purpose.

This has been a roller coaster ride for me. It has not been easy at all.

I am a pretty open minded person and I see people for who they are, I don't judge people, or I try not to, at least-I am not perfect.

My intentions are not evil or selfish or for personal gain.

I just want to help people, and that is something I've always felt compassionate about. Whether it is doing something nice for them, or giving them some guidance, I want to help those that need me.

There is a situation that has developed over the last few months, that I am still searching answers for, and as emotional and mind boggling as it has been, I am holding strong and hoping that in the end (if there is one) that it will be solved and I can move forward, and soon.

Right now it still remains a mystery, and as much as I love a good mystery, it can also be so hard to wait to see what happens at the end of the book. I want to know right now, and I want to know whether my intuition is right...

However I don't believe it is the right time...

Hopefully soon.

I will continue to seek answers, continue to train myself, and read any books I can get my hands on, to figure out my gifts and how to use them...

I will always be a seeker of knowledge and truth, that is one thing I can be sure of...

"photo above done by: me"

Cosmic Forces

2009-03-07T16:02:00.000-06:00

Wow, life is amazing when things seem to fall right into place.

Are you a believer of fate?

I happen to believe in it.

I cannot find the words to explain what I have experienced the last month.

I am still trying to wrap my head around everything.

I know it is not over, in fact, it is just starting!

My life will never be the same, I don't think.

I know I am keeping you in suspense, but that is the idea.

I cannot share with you right now what has happened with me.

But I can leave one clue...well maybe a few more...

It is involves these words:

Spiritual Gifts

Fate

Paranormal

Spirits

Understanding

Knowledge

Intuition

Faith

Friends

Future

and

Love.

All these words tie in together as a masterpiece that I strongly believe is God's plan.

What is it? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

But isn't that the beauty of life?

"photo above done by: me, myself, and I"

Knowledge

2009-02-06T22:43:00.000-06:00

I don't know what I'm going to say, since it is late...well not really late. But I FEEL that is is really late. I am so tired and I am ready to fall down onto my bed and dream good dreams...

However, one thing that has been on my mind lately is this:

I don't understand people who live their life by only what they have been taught...The world is so much bigger than ourselves!

I used to be close-minded.

I used to think my way was the only way to live.

Well, let me tell you...I wasn't very happy living that way.

I wouldn't have met all the wonderful and interesting people that I know today,

and I wouldn't be the person that I am,

if I still lived the way that I did.

What way was that?

It doesn't matter.

We each have a destiny.

We each have obstacles to overcome.

We each have a dream to come true, and a nightmare to battle.

We each have hopes and fears.

We each have religion, spirituality,

and philosophy

or

none at all.

What makes your heart flutter?

What Master do you serve?

Is it really about Who, What, Where, and When?

Or is it about the end result?

How did you get there?

What kind of person are you?

Did you live your life with regrets, or did you learn from them?

Like Madonna says, "Life is a mystery,every one must stand alone"

Hm.

I think she is meaning "You stand alone on where your life goes. It is up to you what you want to do with it."

Based on our experiences in life, and how others have treated us,

Reflects a lot on how we live our future.

So who are we to judge or condemn a person that doesn't know what we know, and vise versa?

Knowledge is our apple to take.

God put it in the Garden for a reason.

Don't you think?

If He hadn't put it there...Do you think we would have evolved to achieve the things we have today?

I believe in fate.

I believe in Karma. (positive & negative)

I believe that God is good and merciful.

I believe that the world was created to teach us some many important lessons.

Some will always search for them, some will find them, and others will totally pass them by, and never seem to learn.

Why? I don't know.

But it's not our place to judge.

God is the ultimate Knowledge, He has a reason for everything.

Can we understand all of God's knowledge? No.

Maybe some, only a piece of it.

So I am going to use it wisely, and with compassion.

And not for condemnation.

"Photo above done by: me, myself, and I"

The Time is: 2009 A.D.

2009-01-03T23:03:00.000-06:00

There is something about time,
that can either make us be
worried, excited, anxious, concerned, paranoid, giddy, expectant, surprised,
scared, shy, and so much more...

Time...is of the essence, people say.
What does that mean exactly?

When the minutes counted down to the exact second to the New Year,
What was on your mind?
What did you do?
Who were you with?
Did any of those things matter to you?
Is it really that important to remember what you did at the turn of the year?

Such things to ponder...

I was with some dear friends of mine that I hadn't seen in a while.
I was happy.
I was content.
It was a relaxing evening...No wild drinking or costumes, etc.
Just chilling out and playing some games and laughing our heads off.
To me that was a good New Years.
I wouldn't have mind going out to a party and getting wild, but I chose
to relax and just be calm and savor the time.

Time, to me at that moment, was not the most important thing.

What was important to me, was my state of mind, and realizing that I was healthy,
safe, content, and surrounded by people who cared about me.

I pray that this new year brings hope to people who have none.
Faith to those who have lost it.
Joy to those who are sad.
Warmth to those who are cold.
Togetherness to those who have lost someone.
Spirituality to those who can't find their way.
and the list goes on.

I do have one fear for the year ahead, apart from the many things I have to look forward to.

I have fear for our country, as a nation. I do not have much faith in the new President coming aboard, I must admit.

There are so many issues surrounding that, but I will only say that I hope he proves me wrong...No, I PRAY that he proves me wrong.

I have faith in God, and that He will deliver us from those who do wrong, whether it be on earth or in heaven...and I have faith that whatever happens, it is nothing that I cannot handle, for He is my strength.
However I am human, and fear is a part of that humanity.

I'm afraid this blog has ended in more of a sour note than I expected, but that is where this blog has led me, so I only hope for the best.

Be optimistic my friends...

God speed and peace for 2009.

"photo done by: my, myself, and I"

Moving On.

2008-10-30T18:04:00.000-05:00

What is perplexing about life & love, is that it's always changing.

Change is good-most of the time.

Sometimes it's hard to see what's right in front of you-or the lack of....and we bury ourselves into denial.

Things that you thought you had, are now gone, and you don't know how you lost it and when you lost it.

You give yourself excuses so you don't have to live in fear of the unknown...

We all know that fear.

What if I'm always alone? What if my dreams never come true?

I listen to these thoughts in my own head and believe it is nonsense!

I've realized that only we can make our dreams come true...by not wanting so much.

I see many faces of people on the streets that look like their life isn't filled with enough happiness.

So they go shopping.

So they go on vacations.

So they buy gadgets and gizmos.

So they buy fancy cars that are more expensive than their damn house!

Sometimes I am guilty of such pleasures. I admit.

But I do my best to not let these silly notions become a part of my ultimate happiness.

No one or anything else can make you happy, but yourself.

Happiness comes from within, and it comes from the spiritedness of those around you.

It is not constant, but it is not impossible to find, even when the world is spinning and you think that you'll never be "happy" again.

I know I've been in that deep dark pit, alone and hurting, and reaching for anyone that is willing to come down to me and grab my hand, and show me love...

Thankfully those days are now some years behind me...I've grown so much and become a stronger woman.

Especially now, when I see that I deserve a full ray of sunshine, rather than a peek in the clouds...

I deserve to be in full bloom, and not sitting, wilting, and waiting for the sun to come out...

The clouds are parting now...

"photo above done by: me, myself, and I"